Thoughts, Views, Reflection, Justice, Music, Books…Hope, Faith

I’m doing my final year project about a bacteria, Burkholderia pseudomallei, a pathogen
that causes the disease melioidosis. The bacteria is endemic in the tropical
and sub-tropical area (Malaysia included!). Its fatality rate is about 90% (that’s high!). The bacteria is
mostly found in wet paddy fields and other cultivated area in Malaysia. In Singapore, the
highest isolation rate is from sports fields. That means, there’s a high
possibility that the bacteria could also be found in our wet sports fields too
(Oh, no! X3)… I remembered that there was a time in my secondary school that
the teachers warned us not to play at the ‘padang bola sepak’ especially at the wet
areas. Could this be the reason??? Could it be that there was speculation that Burkholderia pseudomallei “lived” there?
I think it is highly possible, since B.
pseudomallei is believed to be air and water-borne.
   

So now, let me tell you how one can be infected. Two of the
most common ways are contact through exposed skin (when you have a cut) and the
uptake of water during near-drowning incidents. Another way is through
inhalation (still under investigation). What happens if one get infected?
Basically, infection causes septicemia and pneumonia in cases of severe
infection. However, the bacteria can be dormant in the infected person, only
showing symptoms after traumatic events (when the immune system is weak). There
are ways to combat this illness; through the admission of the correct
antibiotics. The bacterium is susceptible to most antibiotics and thus,
requires ‘stronger’ antibiotics. Nevertheless, the mortality rate is still high
because of poor diagnosis and that its casualties are mostly poor rural people
who have limited medical assistance.
   

But, don’t be delighted yet, urban people… And, don’t even
dream about getting inert immunity from the disease. There isn’t any vaccine
available for the disease. Researches are still underway and not many developed
countries are studying this bacterium for the vaccine. This bacterium is highly
adaptable to its surroundings and could live up to 2 years without nutrient
supplies. Beside that, its incubation period ranges from 2 to 62 years in the
host. This is a hard-core bacteria!! There have been reports of relapse even
after successful treatments on melioidosis patients. So, once you get treated
for the disease and recover, there’s still a chance that the bacteria is not
fully eradicated from your body. It might still be in one corner of your
system… Who knows, may be it is already in our body, sleeping…

So, my advice, do not go to or get near wet areas when you have open cuts.

Finally,
the day I’ve been waiting for has come. I was so looking forward to it. I
finally have the chance to have hands on experience on crime scene
investigation. Yahoo! Haha…

The
first day I reported, I was met by a Superintendent who is also my supervisor.
There were 4 of us who had our industrial training at the lab. There was a
Basic Crime Scene Management course going on for the investigation officers and
our supervisor put us in the classes. The first few days of the course involves
theories about how a crime scene should be managed (in which I’ve already know, mostly from the education I get by reading
Jeffrey Deaver’s and Patricia Cornwell’s books). The officers attending the
course with us were friendly but somehow, I could not communicate well with
them due to the generation gap between us, and obviously, the difference in our
life styles.

Today
is the third day of the one-week course. We had pratical. It’s like a made-up
case with a lot of planted evidence waiting to be discovered, photographed,
tagged, collected and packaged. My team had a gang-rape case and was lead by a
DSP from
Sabah.

As a student, way much junior
than those officers with long badges, I stood and watched their approach of the
crime scene. Every now and then, I helped them by supplying gadgets and took
measurements. Though they were experienced cops, who might have handled
hundreds of cases, I could not stand the way they treated the crime scene. If
Lincoln Rhyme (from Jeffrey Deaver’s books) was there and saw it, I’m sure all
of them would be fired. Who would, in their right mind stepped on a bed
believed to be the place where the girl was raped. And, the biggest mistake of
all was that about half of the team members ‘raided’ the crime scene without
gloves and booties on. They only wore them when a lecturer reminded them…

Anyway,
we are still learning, me and the officers. That’s why we are attending the
course…… right???

Haha…well,
I’m just wondering if these officers are already like this, then what has
happened to the invaluable evidences of the past cases. (wouldn’t that make you
mad, Lincoln?).
Haha…

To
all my friends who are having their practical training as well, I wish you an
enjoyable time learning new things and to all my other friends, happy
holidays.

Many of us who took Literature in English must have read this poem before. ‘The Road Not Taken’ indicates various meanings which could be associated to an individual, a lifeless object, an occurrence or simply just anything. It’s not necessarily always about making a choice between two alternatives. It could be about choosing the path in your life, which branches out to another set of conditions.

Between the Good and the Bad

The title explains it all. Which would you rather choose? Is it being someone who puts others’ needs before self or the other way around? Again, this decision is easy to make but what makes it complicated is that people don’t necessarily weight good or bad the way we do. Some things that you think aren’t nice could be interpreted the other way by certain individuals. For example, when you think that varsity life is just about climbing to the top, others might think that it is more than that, perhaps, building an ethical or a principled asset to the country. So which road have you chosen or rather, what kind of road would you rather walk on???

Between The Should and Shouldn’t

In my point of view, this is the basic or the building block of justice. A person’s sense of justice relies on how much he/she believes that an action should be taken or should not be taken. For example, in a scenario where a person wants to be famous, he/ she might have to plan his/her methods. He could choose to use his natural abilities (talent given by GOD) to work his way up, or he could choose to use unethical ways to get what he wants. A singer could choose to promote himself through his strong vocals or he could just simply pay others so that his awful voice could appear in radio stations day and night. So, why are you a ‘singer’ when you can’t sing? And why are you a ‘politician’ when you’re just a science student? You’ve chosen your path. Don’t deviate from it…

This serves as a reminder to all and for myself, so that some time, in the future, I wouldn’t turn into some one who I distaste! – You’ll never know what might happen in the future… so, get ready before it’s to late to turn to the right road!!

28^th January 2007

3 pm

DECTAR, UKM

RM 5 per pax

With nearly 80 people on stage, it’s sure to be a chaotic evening…

PERCUSSIONISTS have their ears stuffed with cotton to avoid being deafened; SUONA making its way smoothly in the market; the PLUCKED STRINGS section elegantly walked through the crowd and the ERHU, playing melodies that get you nostalgic.

CHAOS is just a simple concert in where some of the norms of life are being emphasized. CHAOS isn’t only about instruments of different sounds getting together to produce an assemblage of beautiful music; it is also about people of different backgrounds, getting together to enjoy something they have in common- a heart for music. Thus, creating music that combines many characteristics, both of the instruments, and the musicians themselves.

The main motive of this concert is to touch hearts and to bring audiences to a different world where they can be themselves and do whatever they want to soothe their hearts. So, the concert is closely related to what is happening in this world. Obviously, with political riots, increased crime cases, and the rise of inhumanity, ‘chaos’ shouldn’t be left out in the glossary of words to describe the society…

This isn’t an ideology or a religious belief. This is a platform for young musicians to express their love for music and for sharing lives’ ups and downs.

Though simple, I hope that audiences are touched by the theme and the music of this concert, that they will bring something back, probably a better understanding or insights of the intricate society.

For those who wants to get tickets for the concert can contact this no. :

017-6623012.

Last Tuesday I was out the whole day with my close friends in Kuching, Mona, Frankie and Suzie. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I worried about them seeing my hideous eye bags. But, I guess, they are used to seeing them already. I haven’t seen Mona for almost a year now and I’m happy seeing her healthy and well. The day started with me, stopping by at the DBKU library before meeting up with them. I continued reading Patricia Cornwell’s Unnatural Exposure at the library, waiting for the right time to meet up with them. It was then that I received a message from Frankie saying that he would be late but he didn’t state what time he would arrive at Daun Kari. So, I set off at around 9.50am, thinking that I would reach there around 10.15am, which is 15 minutes late from our meeting up time. On the way there, Mona messaged me, saying that she just woke up and told me that Frankie would arrive at 11 to pick her up. 11!? I wouldn’t want to wait at the coffee shop alone. So, I drove to Mona’s house. Well, she was waiting for me to arrive so that she could take her bath and I wouldn’t be locked out. After Frankie arrived, we went to Daun Kari at Penrissen Road(Mona’s Papa’s shop) to have brunch.

Well, I drove and it was actually a once in a lifetime chance for me to drive them around. At the coffee shop, we ate and chatted till around 12.30pm when we decided to go for a trip to Bako National Park. Not right away, of course, but in two days’ time. So, deciding that we needed more information about the trip, we went to the Sarawak Tourism Board’s Information Center at the old court house after picking Suzie up from her house. Gaining enough information, we booked a room with 4 single-beds which costs RM 84. It happened just like that. We felt like going and we made the necessary arrangements without thinking twice. Wow! Then, we headed off to Riverside Shopping Complex, with Mona, the ‘businesswoman’, busy making phone calls all the way there. I felt very thirsty and was badly in need of a cup of drink. So, we went to Sugarbun to get it. I bought a cup of three layered tea while Frankie got himself an iced lemon tea. After tasting my three layered tea, Mona started to regret not getting herself one and we turned around at the start of the escalator, leaving Frankie and Suzie who were already half way to 1^st floor. We started laughing… We walked around Parkson and Mona bought a pair of chequered long pants and an orange striped long sleeves. We all thought that the combination looked nice on her. We walked around some more and went to the Times bookstore. We spent quite some time there, talking about our favourite authors and browsing around books. I was surprised at the number of customers at Riversideon a weekday and feared that Kuching would turn into a hectic city like KL one day.

Deciding that we had enough with Riverside, we got in the car again and drove around town area before I suggested that we have ABC at the open air hawker centre. But, the ever excited Mona had a better plan. “Let’s lepak at my mom’s room in Merdeka Palace”. Intrigued by the idea, we bought ABC special and Sotong Kangkung. The suite in Merdeka Palace was comfortable and was very much like an apartment. We ate while watching Flushed Away. 20 minutes into the show we got bored and decided to watch tv instead. But, we didn’t very much know what was on the tele as we went around the suite posing and taking photos. Frankie and Suzie, being the most excited of all, even went as far as the corridor and elevator to pose. We had a good time, just relaxing and hanging out at the suite. It was dinner time and we were walking to the elevator when Frankie’s phone rang. Hump…he had to leave us to have dinner with his family members at Taman Kereta, an expensive eat-out place. Suzie on the other hand had to have dinner with her friends. So, our plan to go to Satok was deterred and we had to go back to Mona’s house to get Frankie’s car. With empty stomachs, Mona and I went for dinner at a nearby coffee shop. We ate roti canai and the cook didn’t want to take Mona’s RM10 note and wanted a smaller change instead. He went off after saying that he would collect our money after we had sorted out our change. I felt that it was rude for him to say that. If he didn’t have change for RM 10, he should have just said so and he wouldn’t need to add anything about us having to sort out the money. So, I showed my ‘chivalry’ by going to his stall and paid the exact amount of money. I told Mona that when people are disrespectful and rude to me, I tend to be cynical by treating them better in the hope that they would feel shameful of their actions. We chatted for a while before going off to our own homes.

This was one of the outings I enjoyed and it felt good to hang out with old friends, catching up on the recent events in our lives.

There is a common understanding that a friend is some one who you spend a lot of time with, share our problems in life and someone who is there to console you when you are down. Well, of course those apply to just about any friendship in the world. But, for me, considering myself as independent and could get around on my own, a true friend is not only that. I frequently face problems in my University life and am constantly in self dilemma. But, people who know me would know that whatever those problems are, I would always think of the solution instead of feeling sorry for myself or have a major mental breakdown. So, what about this idea? True friends are people you can find refuge in. Friends you don’t always have to discuss about your problems in life but those who accept you as you are and you feel comfortable around them. It’s like after a hectic life in Uni, having a holiday with them would give you more energy and you just feel rejuvenated and could cross any obstacles coming your way.

Why do students care about co-curricular activities when they should be studying for their examinations? Why do fathers try hard to keep their jobs at hand even when they actually hate their jobs? Why do mothers get up early to prepare breakfast for their school-going children when they could have just stayed in bed and slept through the day? Why do cops risk their lives catching ruthless criminals? Well, we might be able to generate various answers to these questions. But, I think, all these reasons sum up to one ultimate basis – sense of responsibility.

All of us are burdened by the sense of responsibility we possess. The difference is to how strong that sense of responsibility lies in each individual’s heart. Yes, there are scumbags who do not care about other people’s feelings and there are those who are influential, yet, for the wrong reasons. And, there are those who are totally the opposite. They just simply feel more responsible than the former. If people feel responsible for all the things around them, they would not have thrown rubbish anywhere they like. Our sense of responsibility tells us what to do in situations. If you are doing what isn’t right, it is just simply because you don’t feel responsible enough. At times, we say, “I don’t feel like attending the meeting. I hate the environment there. It’s boring.” Sometimes, we are caught up in a dilemma and we say, “This so-and-so is giving me all the troubles I do not need.” There are times when we say, “I don’t know how to do this. I’m not going to give a damn about it anymore.” So, why do we keep on complaining and not take up the responsibility to make the situation better???

Some of us say, “I’ve got no choice, I have to do this.” But have you ever known why you say that? Our national leader is old and he could have spent his time with his grandchildren. So why is he still leading the country when he could have easily closed the political chapter of his life? Is it just for the influence and authority? No, no, no. Each of us is gifted in different fields and it has become our responsibility to nourish it and to bring that talent a step up. Leaders are given the gifts to put together a group of disarrayed individuals and make the better out of them. Designers and inventors are given the gifts to create new and promising products to give more comfortable lifestyles. Some musicians make good music to influence the confused society so that they could get free ‘education’. These people are who they are because they know that it is their responsibility to not give up but instead fight for what they believe in. They know that if they don’t do it, may be nobody else would. And…they know that, in this world where people are easily sidetracked by the common…if they don’t stand up, who else would???

People are afraid of the imaginative ghosts. But who ever ponder about the ghosts in our society? This metaphor is an accurate interpretation of the people around us, who are doing ‘ghostly’ stuff (‘kao gui’), mostly for self-benefits. Some even use illegal tactics to gain what they want. But, I think the most unethical act would be to misuse other people just for their own benefits. Those who are unlucky to be in that group of people who were backstabbed are left hurt and some might lose their possessions.

Sadly, these ghosts are starting to dominate the society and the world in a way. I always wonder at what these people have in their minds??? How could they hurt the people around them, other human beings build in the figure similar to themselves? How could they even think of such ways to get whatever ‘rubbish’ they worship??? Why can’t they act justly and be satisfied with what God has given??? Why, why, why and why??? I can’t understand and I don’t think I’ll even want to ‘explore’ their shitty minds (unless I’m doing a research for psychology…hmmm…I think I can recommend this topic for my roommate to study on).

David Tao is very much a philosopher in his own ways. He has a song published in The Great Leap 2005 entitled ‘Ghost’. To many, it is a sensitive issue to touch on as the supernatural world is beyond acceptance in the Chinese society (it was even banned in

China

!). But what people didn’t understand was that the song reflects on the ‘ghosts’ in the society who are powerful but misuse their authority for the wrong reasons. Here are the lyrics…I don’t understand some of the Chinese characters but from the music, I get more than what the lyrics tell. Hope you’ll listen to the song and reflect upon it.

鬼

曲：陶吉吉 詞：陶吉吉& 李焯雄

我想問你相不相信 這個世界上有一個看不見的空間 在你眼前

四面八方把你包圍 但又不會讓你摸得清楚它的立場 不停改變

在左右兩邊 左右你視線

一會在面前 突然在後面

他們徘徊不退 耐心的等天慢慢黑

不管你感覺有多累 千萬不能讓自己睡

鬼 他們是鬼

鬼 鬼 全都是鬼

Hey Hey 你不能睡

Hey 他們是幹不掉的鬼

被誰壓得喘不過氣 地鐵每天同一批人扮乘客跟蹤我 你懂不懂

腳步聲越來越接近 感覺有只冰冷黑手在身上打手印 卻不會痛

它在我左邊 也在你右邊

它不必露臉 它在我裏面

他們徘徊不退 耐心的等天慢慢黑

不管你感覺有多累 千萬不能讓自己睡

鬼 他們是鬼

鬼 鬼 全都全是一群鬼

鬼 一堆死不了的鬼

他們徘徊不退 一步一步的把你追

當你發覺眼圈發黑 你可能已經變成鬼

Aw 你是個鬼

Come on 你是個鬼 你是個鬼

Yeah 在不知不覺變成死不了的鬼 鬼

他們徘徊不退 一步一步的把你追

等到你覺得好氣餒 等到你會說無所謂

鬼 你是個鬼

鬼 全都全是一群鬼

鬼 一堆死不了的鬼 鬼 鬼

如果心裏有鬼 誰和誰不算是同類

你的血在暗裏發黴 這究竟是誰在怕誰

Aw 我是個鬼

Come on 我是個鬼 我是個鬼

Yeah 你到底怕人還是應該要怕鬼 鬼

Hope none of the people I care about meet these ghosts in their journey in live. Good luck, friends.

David’s words: "I have always been making music with all my heart and treating my colleagues, the media and fans with sincerity. However, the current state of the media has made me feel that i must protect myself and my closed ones. Recently, some articles have been selectively publishing part of the statements i make as well as making false reports. Such reports have harmed not only me, but also those around me.

I would like to make a wish here, that the media stops using tabloid-style news on violence and sex to boost the sale of their publications . Just as I do not bend on my principles when I am making music, it is in the same hope that i hope those working in the media write honestly and produce articles with substance! 

At the same time, I hope that the general public can use their intelligence to judge what is right and wrong as not everything that’s written in black and white, is the truth. Let us work together to make this world beautiful! "

Althought I’m not a popular singer or any well-known being, I think what David said somehow happens in my life and probably others’ too. There are just too many people in the society that whatever you do or try to do will be questioned and doubted by others. Worst of all is being doubted my sincerety when my motives are for the good. So, now I’m the black sheep of the ‘family’!?!?!? What the HELL!!!! Open your eyes, please!!!

…… I don’t know what I’m ‘crapping’ about… but I’m very much dissapointed with the people I have faith in… 

Being back at UKM marks the starting of another busy semester. I was back so much earlier than most of my friends. I even missed the chance to meet two of my best friends – Mona and Chai. Other than that, I even missed the chance to watch or even perform on the renowned Rainforest Music Festival held at Kuching. I don’t know if I regret signing up as a Red Crescent facilitator or not… maybe I do… since I think that I didn’t do much during the orientation week as I got sick myself… down with a viral infection – even my family members do not know about this!……Thanks to my caring friends at KIY who took care of me when I was sick. Thank you so much, people. It’s really because of all of you that I recover. Owe you all a big favour…

Well, just as I was cleaning up my new room, I felt a sudden sense of frustration and immediately, I thought of my family and friends at home. I missed them more than I was in first year. All this while, I’ve always been independent and do most things alone. I traveled all the way from Kuching with an intention to earn a degree and to move a step closer towards my dreams. With strong determination and will, I fought through the South China Sea on a MH air plane and never looked back, leaving all the freedom I have at home and my loved ones. I’ve never though of the possible feeling of being homesick and I hardly called home to tell my parents what I was doing. But, when I was cleaning the room alone, I suddenly felt that I miss my hometown so much. Nothing beats the feeling of knowing that you are safe and that your family members are always with you. I’ve never felt this way before and I was afraid that I might not be able to fight through the waves. I searched for an answer as to why I was feeling that way. Probably it’s because I didn’t have time to do what I wanted to do at home since I was preoccupied with work or probably this feeling was already in me and it just make itself known after being away for a year… I don’t know.

I still miss Kuching and can’t wait to go back there during the holidays. Hope the hols will come in a blink of an eye….

For now, there are a lot of duties waiting for completion… there’s the very busy OT, PBSMM and not forgetting, Choir. I was very busy during the starting of the academic schedule. There were just too many activities going on. The Technology Recombinant DNA lab killed the 8 hours I’m supposed to have on Mondays with its detailed laboratory techniques. Not forgetting, Biochemistry and Microbial Genetic labs that are starting soon. Still, I can’t forget the hectic schedule I had during my 1^st sem in my 1^st year. I had 7 activities at a time and I never get enough sleep. Hope this semester isn’t going to be that way…

But… I’ll jump, crawl or swim through any obstacles that come my way. I’ll cross the South China Sea again and accomplish what I’m sent here for. I’ll see that it happens… This is something that I’ll have to always remind myself about.